I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize