Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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