Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
