I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
