If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
