would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize