For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
