So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Your penis caused this!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize