What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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