Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
