Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
