I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
