His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
