Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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