Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
