enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
