did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
