is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
