hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
