as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
bring money and cleavage
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
