I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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