The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
