you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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