I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
