Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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