I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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