She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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