Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
