wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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