Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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