i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
