Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
