whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
