Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
