Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
