Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize