She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
