do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
