THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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