oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
a search helicopter?!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
