im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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