Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize