I showed him my bush... on skype.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
