remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
