He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
