Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
