This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
