I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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