i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
