We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
