I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
