i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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