Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
