Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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