these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize