I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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