Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
