I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
